The Birds Have Flown: How to Deal With Empty Nest
We raise our children to be self-sufficient adults and functioning members of society. Why then is it so difficult when they leave home? At some point in a parent's life, the children will fly the coop. Parents may begin to wonder what to do next.
What is Empty Nest Syndrome?
Empty nest syndrome refers to the grief and sadness parents experience when a child leaves the "nest." The child might be going off to college, joining the military, getting married, backpacking across Europe, or simply moving out on their own into the adult world. No matter the reason. Our children will grow up and leave.
Empty nest syndrome tends to impact women more than men. Women tend to be the primary caregiver for children growing up. However, many men also experience the same feelings of grief and sadness. Men who fully participate in the lives of their children each day may experience the feelings more readily.
Some of the symptoms of empty nest include: loss of purpose, loneliness, feeling worthy, anxiety, and wondering if your kids are really ready for the world that awaits them. Empty-nesters may also be experiencing changes in their own careers, dealing with aging parents, outside family issues, and more.
How can one survive the empty nest syndrome and come out on top feeling stronger and more engaged in life?
5 Steps to Deal With Empty Nest Syndrome
1. Acceptance: Accepting this transition in life can be the catalyst for new beginnings. If we, as parents, have done the work needed to get our children to the point of leaving the nest, then we have done well. Understanding you have done well can help with accepting this change. This is what you planned for all along. Accepting, knowing, and appreciating the journey of being an empty-nester.
2. Reconnecting: This can be a time for partners to reconnect. While raising children many couples find they lack time together as life responsibilities take precedence. For single parents or divorced parents, this can also be your time to reconnect with your own goals. It can be a time to travel, take classes, volunteer, go on dates or simply relish your own precious time.
3. Your Role: Your role will change as your children grow into adults. Where once you disciplined or put them to bed, you now become closer to them as a friend, confidant, or advice giver when asked. Accepting your role will help you better navigate this time of your life. If there is a lack of acceptance, it will be difficult to let go and move forward in your new role.
4. Resist: Resist the urge to call and check in with your adult child all day, every day. While you may want to know all they are doing, you also want to give them space. This is most difficult because when they lived in the "nest" they were right there. You could watch over them. Giving your adult child space allows them to come to you. So, set up regular calls together or text in the morning or night if needed. Make sure when they come home for holidays or visits, the welcome is warm and loving.
5. Take Care: Make sure throughout this major life transition self-care is at the top of the list. Get good sleep, exercise, and connect with family and good friends. Start a fun hobby. Begin a new project. Do the things that speak to you. Reconnecting with your own goals can be an exciting adventure at this time in your life. Use your empty nest time as a catalyst for new change and direction. Remember that a new journey begins for you! Make the most of this time.
If you are wanting to discover new change and make the most of goals during this difficult transition, a life coach can be a perfect partner for you. Supporting, mentoring, and encouraging you along the way! Beth Hall - Life Coach is committed to enhancing positive and focused energy, ideas, and conversations. It's time to open doors for new meaning and positive direction in your life.
